Couples We Help

We work mainly with married, de facto, engaged and dating couples in committed relationships.

We embrace and respect diversity in our clients and their relationships. We are honoured to work with English-speaking individuals of all ethnic/national origins, cultural backgrounds, spiritual or religious affiliations, sexual orientations, gender expressions, neurotypes (including ADHD, ASD) and with or without disabilities.

We also welcome couples or dyads in consensually non-monogamous relationships (e.g. polyamorous or open relationships).

Couples we help generally fall into one of three categories:

• Couples experiencing relationship distress or disconnection (from mild to severe):
  
  All new clients
  see Full Couple Therapy Retreats
  
  Previous clients with moderate to severe distress
  see Full Couple Therapy Retreats
  
  Previous clients with mild relationship distress
  see Full Couple Therapy Retreats or Mini Couple Therapy Retreats
  
  
• Couples wanting to enrich or revitalise a generally harmonious long-term relationship:
  
  New clients
  see Full Couple Therapy Retreats
  
  Previous clients
  see Full Couple Therapy Retreats or Mini Couple Therapy Retreats
  
  
• Couples early in their relationship, planning a long-term commitment, not experiencing significant distress, but wanting to build resilience against future problems:
  
  see Pre-marriage Retreats

Most of the couples who attend our Couple Therapy Retreats have been experiencing significant:

• relationship distress e.g. feelings of hurt, anger, or resentment
  AND/OR
• sense of emotional and/or physical disconnection
  
  

More specifically, the most common problems we help couples with through our retreats are: 

• communication problems 
• conflict
• loss of trust, including relating to infidelity
• hurts from the past
• loss of physical or sexual intimacy & common sexual difficulties
  
  

Distress, conflict or disconnection is often centred around particular topics such as:

• household chores
• personal habits
• partner seeming to prioritise work, hobbies, friends or other family members
• parenting or blended family issues
• financial issues
• impacts of mental or physical health challenges or trauma on the relationship
• different life goals, expectations or values

Typically as a result of a Couple Therapy Retreat, couples experience significantly greater satisfaction and reduced distress in their relationship, through one or (usually) more of the following:

• improved communication, leading to increased:
  • mutual understanding and empathy 
  • ability to resolve problems
  • flexibility in dealing with differences

• reduced conflict 
• increased emotional connection
• increased trust and sense of security
• beginning to heal from hurts from the past
• rekindling of affection and/or sexual intimacy

In addition, many of our Retreat clients experience personal growth as individuals through:

• increased self awareness and understanding
• enhanced sense of self-worth
• improved sense of well-being and positive outlook on life

While Couple Retreats are a great option for most couples keen to work together on strengthening their relationship, they are usually not suitable if:

• partners have incompatible goals for therapy
  (e.g. one wishes to separate amicably, the other wishes to repair the relationship)
• there is domestic violence (including emotional and other non-physical forms of abuse)
• there is any physical violence in the relationship
  
  

OR if either partner:

• is not willing to commit to working on the relationship and engaging in the therapy sessions throughout the retreat
• feels too emotionally or physically fragile to tolerate the intensity of this work
• has been diagnosed with a serious mental health condition (e.g. major clinical depression, bipolar, psychosis) AND this is untreated or unstable
• has a serious active addiction (e.g. to alcohol, gambling, pornography)
• is currently having an affair 
• has suicidal or homicidal thoughts, or a history of serious harm to another person
• may not be able to tolerate being in the same space with their partner for the retreat duration
• is not comfortable with sleeping in the same bed (since the accommodation contains only one bedroom with a queen-sized bed)
  
  

As there may be grey areas in some of these criteria, if you feel unsure whether a Couple Retreat is a good option for you, please contact us to discuss before booking.

Although most couples experience major progress following our Couple Therapy Retreats, outcomes cannot be guaranteed, as these depend on many factors outside of our control, such as:

• level of commitment of both partners to working together on their relationship
• not disclosing (in advance) issues that make a retreat unsuitable
• duration of the retreat
  (e.g. if you choose a mini-retreat although experiencing major problems)
• willingness to undertake follow up therapy, if needed

Occasionally, although our goal is always to help you strengthen your relationship if possible, a Couple Therapy Retreat helps clarify for one or both partners that they wish to separate. If so, our couple therapy helps this to be processed in a way that minimises conflict and bad feeling and enables each individual to learn constructive lessons from the experience.